Monday, 31 March 2014


  We seem so afraid,
To do the things we never tried.
Trapped in a small cage,
Conquered by lust, lured by faith,
We move back and forth,
To a grey square box we call life.

Each new day a candle dies,
Like breath taken away from our lives.
We become so petrified of a feeling,
A feeling so undeniable.
Our very existence is questionable,
A mere dewdrop they say,

And yes a prayer put across in reverence,
in tongues with the Lord, and then we stay.
Concealed by a mask so brave, 
A man full of misguided disguise,
In a heart so cowardly,
In a corner so cold.

We are stoned, dead inside,
Infested by fear so deep,
that our souls tremble and quiver,
we stealthily bleed : a silent lamb
A long, cold, slow, death,
and a breath is taken away.

We live but never dare,
To face our planned destiny unmoved by prayers.
Something like life, a gift, a journey,
Something that cant be replaced, but remembered
Something like us, we're born,we die.. 
But what happens in between??
Wont you live it but once!

Wednesday, 26 March 2014


Someday, some sweet winter day
I'll unwillingly pass away
I'll have nothing much to say
I'll unwillingly fade away.

Leaving the memories of you and I, within your mind
And if you seek inside would you find?
Would you see the way I used to smile?
Although we'll be separated by thousand miles.

For you life would be hard, I know plainly
Your mind would be beaming with curiousity
Your heart would be crying stealthily
And in littlest things you'll remember my courtesy.

You'd remember the times we shared 
Miss my love, miss the way I cared
At times you'd feel the presence of me
Remember my face and feel lonely

Would you remember the way, I used to say, 
The words of love to keep you near?
The way I used to look into your eyes and lay 
Rest my head on your shoulder when I feared

Will you glimpse my reflection in the mirrors?
And bind my images into your memory
Would you perceive me in your dreams?
And the moments we lingered around joyfully 

Sometimes I wonder 
If I could find a way to stay with you forever
And never leave you alone in this broken world
But dearest, somethings just happen untold.   

Nothing can be more daunting than the fear of losing a loved one but dearest, love is eternal and it will remain forever like a burning ray of hope over the rainbow.. It will remain forever following you where ever you go, like the brightest star shining in the clear dark sky... Won't you believe me..? Won't you believe in love..?? 

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Habits - The Good and Bad in Me

Habits are hard to break. I remember as a child I always slept with my belly down and back up. I'd hold on to my pillow from underneath it with my left hand and turn my head towards the right. I usually slept with my face facing, total emptiness or a wall. Somehow, it gave me a sense of "Peace" and "Freedom of Sleep", so I could make as many or as little expressions I wanted, unknowingly as I slept (a funny concept). If somebody would sleep next to me I generally wouldn't face that way. I have felt this exact same way over all the past years growing up and continue with the same routine every night and feel no less different. When morning came, the first thing I'd do is to get up and go straight to the mirror and comb my hair. I'd throw an usual "it's a new day" smile at the mirror and it reflected right back at me. I was always happy. I loved (still love) sleeping late, to be honest, I'm not a morning person at all. Came Sundays, I'd sleep my ass off but until weekends (my glory days) came, mum always patrolled me and made sure I get up by 6 a.m. every morning.  Some days when i was reluctant to obey her morning call, she'd purposely switch off the darn fan and in the hot summer days, I had no option but to get the hell up!! I have a typical Asian family and what I mean by this is regardless of the weather, whether there was a hailstorm outside or raining cats and dogs or crazy hot, I had to go to school. Period. As a kid, my Mum dropped me off to the bus stop every morning. In 7th grade I won the "Cent Percent Attendance Award". It was an achievement for being present every single day of Academic year 2005-2006 (Holy cow!! how did I manage to do that when now I bunk at least one class everyday!!). Come to think of it, my mum has always been my rock and even though I hated being forcefully dragged to school, she always wanted the best for me.

I remember when we were toddlers in kinder garden they'd ask us to write cursive writing on those one of a kind thin booklets with a pencil. We had to make sure that every letter was written exactly the same way as the top most example sentence. Soon when I went to middle school I was so glad because we were introduced to write with a pen.. (oh the joy of being a kid..!!). Writing with a pen was a tremendous deal for me. I would ask my mum or dad to take me to the stationary shop at least twice a week so I could buy a pen of my choice. I had this crazy collection of Chinese "Wing Sung" fountain pens. I had them of different nip variants and colors. The white ones were the prettiest . The unusual thing about writing with a pen was, I'd normally put the cap of the pen on top of the pen and start writing. It was pretty unusual because the other kids in my class and my friends, everybody I knew but a very few wrote the way I wrote. Surprisingly, I still write the same way as before and when I'm questioned I simply say "That's just my Thang!!" with a smile. Also, I am very sure only a few people go haywire and totally nuts, when they walk into the stationary store (Staples/Crossword/Landmark) and I'm sure a very few kids would choose a pen over a bag of chips or chocolate. Poor me, not just any other shopaholic but a 'stationary' one. I guess its nothing to be ashamed of..? Don't judge me right away guys, needless to say, like every other girl even I love dressing up and going crazy over clothes and accessories and I hate meeting people when I'm not properly dressed. Not even God could change that (lol).

I've always had bad habits and gradually I have come to tame them. You see, I have always been healthy all my life. What I mean by that is as a kid I was one of those who fell in the chubby lot. While growing up, all through school years, even though I was eating a lot I kept myself (well somewhat) fit by playing a lot of sports amongst which basket ball, taekwondo  and badminton were my favorite. Me and my team mates would stay back after school and practice everyday. Some days I had taekwondo classes even at night, in a local stadium, where my teacher taught us all together. My teacher was very dear to me. He was the one who taught me "Kako, learn to say no!". Nonetheless, I'd go back home and gulp  2000 cal, or more, there was no problem. Dog days were soon over when I was officially done with school and I stopped playing all the sports. Things were not the same. It took me a while to understand that I couldn't eat as much as I wanted any more. I couldn't throw my temper tantrums by impulsive eating anymore. To be honest, I am a very moody person and when I'm angry or sad, it doesn't take me too long to step out of my house with my messy hair and PJ's and get myself a whole box pizza or fling a burger or two or drink a liter of coke, all on my own. Needless to say, food is one of my favorite things in the world. So, just to avoid that (impulsive eating), it takes me a lot of patience and self understanding, self consoling and "is it all worth it?" pointers to bring me back down to my normal state. If I'm at home I either go off to sleep or take a soothing bath and if I'm out, I just walk away from the scene causing my disruptive emotions. That's probably the easiest thing to do and it works for me. I calm my self down with a cup of green tea and soon I'm back to normal. I know I can't break my bad habits but I sure try and prevent myself from situations that might lead them to occur. The same goes for people turning to alcohol for comfort rather than food. In my opinion, obsessions are bad habits and can be very dangerous. Have an obsession only if you know how to control it. The problem is, most of the time, obsession controls you rather than you controlling it. 

Over the years I have come to realize that people surrounding a person definitely, a cent percent,  contribute in the habit making process of that person. If you have been through rough times growing up like me, if you've had bad times in the family or school, if you didn't get along very well with your friends in your teens, you've been through bad break ups in the past and have seen constant hardships, whatever the reason is, we probably share this same 'impulsive eating disorder' as they fancily say. We are sensitive to situations and fragile on the inside but tough on the outside. To be honest, I think we are the most understanding people on earth. We can relate to other people, understand their nature and are sometimes judgmental but that's just for our own sake and now that we are what we are, I'm sure most of us are likable and trustworthy. That's just us, as much as the world tried to pull us down we continued to stand back up again. There is a reason why we are alive and that reason is solely us. So, be proud of being you. Say thanks to those people who meant you harm, that you stand like an unshakable concrete wall against them unbreakable and strong.

I truly believe, the day you'll start living out of intention rather than habit will be the day you'll truly be happy. As for my good habits are concerned I wouldn't change a thing (haha) and my bad habits, I'm only concerned with preventing them for occurring. So carry on with your good attributes and work on your bad ones. Choose and intent to be a better person everyday not just for the people who matter but most importantly for YOU. This is the way I see life and these are the good and bad in
me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Monday, 24 March 2014


She was born,
Wrapped in a grey veil.
She arrived, beyond any anticipation,
They wiped her mother's blood off of her naked body,
That endless night, stars shone and constellations fell into place.
Smoke stealthily hazed her vision,
From a never ending cigarette her kin had lit. 
That was supposed to be an endless night.
No flowers fell down the sky, but dying autumn leaves and cold, cold breeze. 
Sleeping silently, in her mother's warm arms she lay.  

The time came right, 
Her mother abandoned her impassively.
Left her alone, along with the helpless lot.
She was just a month old.  
A baby girl they said, was beautiful and bright. 
What could she do, did she even know?? 
How to smile, how to cry, how to eat, how to speak??
She could barely crawl. 
Time passed by, an orphanage had her.
She was only 12 years old. 

She made friends, she learned to smile,
She worked hard and slept when she could. 
Nobody saw her yet she was seen. 
She taught herself how to read 
She knew she could make it big
As tears ran down her olive skin
She heard the voices in head scream.
No, it wasn't a scream, it was a screech,
Screeching silently her obscure, torn apart heart
Still managed to radiate an undying smile,
She still bore an ever lasting flame.

Buried deep within her heart she hoped,
Blood ran down her veins she dared,
Dying yet breathing her beating heart, she ran,
She ran as far as the eyes could see and beyond,
Beyond the fallen snowflakes and mist.
She promised to herself that she'd run,
She'd run until her heart stopped beating.
The girl, i knew was a caterpillar back than,
The girl i know now is a butterfly, she flew,
She still flies..
She'll forever fly..

This was one of my humble attempts to write a poem. As you can see I'm not very good at it. Back at school I used to write a lot of poems but I never showed them to anybody. Last winter when I went home I was really happy and surprised when my mother showed me all the poems and stuff I had written. She had collected and saved them up in a bundle. It was an emotional moment. 
To a mother her child is her everything and vice versa. Every little thing.. his/her clothes, books,10th and 12th grade school farewell shirts with his/her friends autograph on it.. Every big or little thing of her child is of value to her. I simply hope and pray that not under any circumstance, a child is ever abandoned. I wish that every child gets all the love that he/she deserves.

Sunday, 23 March 2014


Like many others one day while pinning on Pinterest,  this word popped up in my Pinterest feed. I was actually looking to re-pin some good quotes. When this one word 'Sophrosyne' popped up. I loved the way it sounded (didn't know quotes could be of one word). Now, because I am a curious soul and my mind gets attracted to new words like magnet, I simply, most definitely had to dig this word up a little further. I googled it up and instantly fell in love with the meaning.

Wikipedia defines Sophrosyne (Greek: σωφροσύνη) as a Greek philosophical term etymologically meaning healthy-mindedness and from there self-control or moderation guided by knowledge and balance and a deep awareness of one's true self resulting in true happiness.

Sophrosyne was a Greek goddess. She was the spirit of moderation, self-control, temperance, restraint, and discretion. She was considered to be one of the good spirits that escaped Pandora's box. Pandora's box was actually a box given to Pandora (the first human woman created by Gods), which contained all the evil of the world.
I never thought anything good could ever come out of something like that but truly, always expect the unexpected. Thank you the world of internet for teaching me everything I need to know, regardless to say expect to learn something from everything.

Moderation is not one of my strong suits. I hate to admit but sometimes I get obsessed. I am so full of energy, good vibes and everything positive in the beginning but slowly I start to sail away to a direct direction. I loose interest as fast as I gain it. In no time something new is too old for me. There are a very few things in life I have actually stuck with, up until now and those things are very dear to me. No way in hell I could actually stick to something my heart restraints me from. Its just unnatural. I can't resist something new, I will go to the extremes, but I just cannot hold on to it if my heart says no, simple as that. I guess I need to moderate my life a little. Too much of a good thing in small amounts is good. If you have too much of a good thing, something pleasant becomes unpleasant because you have too much of it, like chocolates. Therefore, moderation is the word of the hour. The problem is moderation works for only a few people and I don't really know if it's going to work for me. I'm not sure if there are flaws. Just different ways of thinking, living, processing, and reacting. All in moderation. I might as well choose to just go with it.

Talking about choosing, making choices is not really my strong suit either. I am indecisive, sometimes paradoxical and hasty when it comes to making decisions. Knowing my weaknesses actually makes me take the right decisions. Needless to say I have plenty of wrong decisions in the bag already but now that I know how I am, I tell myself over and over again 'no hasting and be determined'. I question myself uncountable times and before saying anything I should or shouldn't, I take my time.

Frankly speaking I hate long never ending narratives/articles on How-tos (how to be happy, how to make the right decisions.. blah..blah..) because at the end of the day realization has to come from within. If you want to be happy you’ll find ways to make yourself happy. If you want to make the right decisions you’ll listen to yourself more than you listen to others, because your heart wants what it wants, can’t cheat it by overlapping and over-pouring it with millions of ifs and buts, could haves and would haves. 

"Sophrosyne" I have a feeling, that, I will never ever forget this word just because "happiness" carries a deep and true meaning for me in my life and I am on a mission in pursuit of true happiness.. and as for achieving Sophrosyne, I guess first step is to start with a healthy mind and gradually working towards a healthy body (because I'm a lazy bum and love eating and sleeping like a starfish, as my friend used to say and so I love her and miss her. Even though we are apart I feel like we are on the the same boat, sharing the same journey, heading toward the same place just separated by an opaque wall, its a perplexing yet a beautiful relationship.)


Tuesday, 11 March 2014

A Lesson Learned

When i was in my 7th or 8th grade i was given a task of saying the morning 'thought of the day' for my school assembly.. The previous day i was running around frantic, trying to search a good thought so i looked awesome as i say it (lol)!!... School was real fun. Everyone wanted to look awesome, everyone wanted to be better than the other, there was a sense of competition...!! I tried searching the newspapers..I got none... I went through books and everything else, i got none that compelled me. In the heat of the moment i almost overlooked a book my mum bought me some years back.. She knew I had a knack for reading, but something short that didn't over saturate me, something that wasn't arid.. So she bought me something called 'The Book of Quotations by Oxford' from a bookseller who came to sell at my house. See, book sellers at that time, mostly when i was growing up, used to come by our houses to sell books.. The companies would send their representatives to make sales from one household to the other... So one fine day my mom brought me one... I tell you I was enchanted!!  
The extremity of my love for this book is so much that I carried it with me when I moved to a different city and I still fancy reading it from time to time. So anyway, I went through the book and I got a quote by Mother Teresa.. It was short but it had so much meaning to it that I knew I had to say it. Mother Teresa said 'do small things with great love'. I'd say about 60 percent of the people in that assembly may not have even paid attention to what I said that day, but for me it was a huge thing, speaking up in front of everyone and so I remember that phrase very clearly and even now I live by it..  
Amidst 'living by it', there were times when I had forgotten the value of this phrase, for example, there are some people who like to be thanked.. not only for their hard work but for something as little as, giving food to a beggar. I was one of them but not anymore.. I'll tell you why, I was at a church on a Sunday morning and normally many beggars accumulate there because Sunday mornings a huge number of people come for their morning prayer and many beggars get food to eat.. So, I was there and I gave food to a beggar. I was surprised when he didn't return a smile back at me or say thank you. I felt bad, because there I was helping him and he didn't appreciate me for what I did.. That day I got back home and thought about it. I even discussed it with my friends... After some thinking I actually realized, while other people are in need of basic amenities like food selfish people like us are in need of appreciation. I don't necessarily have to get appreciated for helping someone who needs help. God knows what they go through each day just to sustain. I was very naive but realization came to me and I realized that doing good should come from the heart and it should be unconditional even if its the smallest thing. From then on, in most of the cases, i do things that i love doing and don't expect anything in return. Besides when you get something good unexpectedly you become twice as happy. 

The reason why i'm telling you all these today is because yesterday i was faced with options. I had got a chance to make some career choices that could make me or break me.. I was actually very happy that i was going to get a job where in i was expected to write not one but many books in partnership with someone else but i didn't take it.. When i talked about my dreams i was belittled saying you could do that later. What you tell yourself everyday will either lift you up or tear you down. If you want it than you want it. Period. You can't let anyone take that away from you. No matter how small or how big your dream, your dreams are your dreams. I have heard people saying, 'my dreams are so small, i can't imagine anyone being a better loser than i am'. That is absolutely non sense.. no seriously, it doesn't make any sense.. People!! small things do make a difference if you do them with love, if you do them unconditionally.

Me and the other person could have mutually benefited but i am really sorry i cannot work with someone who disrespects my dreams. It might be something as small as that but i am sorry i have too big of an ego. Guys, ego is not anyways bad, especially when you have to make decisions for yourself or place your priorities right.. I may be provocative right now but, i took this experience as a lesson learned and it was important for me to share it so other people understand that life is about living your dream not somebody else s'. Don't take it when someone tries to belittle you or distract you or say you should be doing this not that. Not only love but live life unconditionally. 
Do the things that your heart says is right. No questions asked. Sometimes people are manipulative and delusional and i don't mean to disrespect but, be firm enough to say 'no' when you must. Don't let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of yours.

Sunday, 9 March 2014

Wanderlust Anybody??

Wanderlust: A strong or and intense desire to travel.
Have you ever wondered how it will be like if you had a lot of gas in your car and an awesome camera and a long endless highway or how about a twin jet airplane taking you far across the horizon up above the ocean, scattering translucent clouds as you go, into some unknown land? Have you ever done or would like to do something as crazy as dumping your clothes into your bag, just the minimal things you require, some cash at hand, and your camera and take off..? Nobody knows where you're going, no cell phone, no connection with the outside world just you and you alone. If you are one of those wild ones like me and think of just taking off without a clue of where you are going but the only thing that matters is leaving, then you my friend suffer from an incredible unlikely to be a disease called 'wanderlust'. I like to think of this term as the motto of life and 'the wanderlust has got me... by the belly-aching fire'

Psychology states that wanderlust may be driven by the desire to escape and leave behind depressive feelings or running away from something for something new. I think it is either/or of the present propositions. Every human being has the tendency to go in search of something leaving behind something else.. This is a very obvious and veracious statement and may be provocative to many but when your life is sedentary and all you want to do is cope, all you really have to do is travel. Leaving home will be bittersweet and coming back home will be bittersweet, but the journey will bring you immeasurable joy. No matter how far or close you travel, you will carry the experiences with you for the rest of your life.

I had an opportunity to get away once.. so to say it was a sudden decision. Leaving was more important to me than staying. I felt like i was at the edge of the world and gravity could pull me any moment. So i left. Leaving the world behind i ran.. I may have acted like a coward than, unable to stand reality but i just wanted to breathe freely again.. I can't really explain how i felt at that point of time or why i did it... Its quite complicated for me to explain and someone to understand..  

You may try and picturize it in your mind... Ready? so, try and imagine, you are all alone, and you leave all the bonds of life.. you run.. now, nobody knows where you're at, you have reached the place you have googled for more than a hundred times. Standing on your own two feet you take a good look around you and for the first time in your life u actually see, you see through the blinding light. Your mind is going through changes by every millisecond. You've started to see life through a different view point. You look further and further... as far as the eyes can see, the further you look the clearer it gets. Your conscience, and your mind can't help but deliberate... At the moment you a suddenly realize your self worth and how far you've come to get here.. A sudden shock passes through your veins and penetrates into the ground.. its all self explanatory but yet it leaves you numb and speech less.. Your confidence is multiplied because you suddenly feel the absence of those iron chains that imprisoned you for so long, a sudden feeling of  liberty!!! you take a moment to smile, your boundless heart can feel it all.. all the feeling you haven't felt before... U have now reached the epitome of happiness!! 

Was it picturable? you could say i felt that way or may be a little more. Reading it may seem a bit too over-expressed but trust me, once you feel it on your own, words will seem too little to fit into a paragraph. That very day i understood the meaning of freedom..It felt like for a minute there i had lost myself and than i found me, a different me and so i will never regret it. I felt like as if i was reborn again and that it was the first day of my life..

Life is so long but oh so short. Whenever i think of wanderlust, i think we the 'gypsy souls' must run away. Run away or run toward something or nothing with existential lust, and utmost crave..At the end of the day you exist, i exist and there is the world.. You must want it, to grab it and to grab it , you must run after it, you must chase it. You must chase it in a way that you discover the flames in you, those flames that           remind you that you are ALIVE!!

Saturday, 8 March 2014

Happy International Woman's Day 2014 ( Thank God I Am A Woman)

Whenever i think of being a woman, i feel like it's the most wonderful gift God gave me right when i was born. When i was little i cried, not particularly at the littlest things but i cried when i was hurting. I taught myself to be brave and courageous. I got into my 5th grade school entrance exam just because i was stubborn enough to prove  some people wrong, imagine i was that little. I learned about freedom when i moved to a different city.. I had an open minded approach, a brave soul and a tender heart.. A woman, she is the most beautiful creation of God.. I am a woman.. and i am thankful to be one... 

We are beautiful and no, it doesn't mean we have the perfect fashion sense or dress up perfectly for every occasion or know the right table manners. It is also not because people love the way we talk or the way we walk.. Honestly, we are beautiful not because of something as superficial as the outer shell. We are beautiful because we have a beautiful soul.. It is something as intangible as that. We are gentle and we are loving, but firm and assertive when need be. We don't need the world to validate us about how beautiful we are all the time because we know and people know by the acts we do. We have the ability to make people smile and the capacity to make them laugh even when we are moaning inside. We have a strong heart and mind which cannot be broken under any circumstance.  

All my lovely ladies out there , "Happy International Woman's Day 2014" , wear an invisible crown not only today but every single day. You could be of any color or any ethnicity, you could be of any country or any religion, be proud that you are a woman.. You will always be a pretty mess, simple and kind, confident and loving, humble and grateful. You will always be imperfectly perfect...You will always be beautiful deep down your soul. 

Friday, 7 March 2014

They should make a movie on us

Life is so interesting. Something new happens everyday. There is love and there are heartbreaks. There is friendship and there is hatred..Every one of us have a story to tell.. 

 The famous saying goes, 'the grass is greener on the other side', many of us feel like the other person's life is 'oh so great', but no! its never the way we think. Everyone of us go through a lot each day. The only way we could ever understand how the other person is feeling or how the other person is living his or her life is by being in their shoes and walking in them for a day or may be even a day wouldn't suffice. The more simpler life looks to the outside world, the more complicated it is and we must accept that. Trust me when i say, its way better to live your own life rather than living someone else s', you may not like it. If you don't like the way you're living your life than make some changes, make it likable. I wouldn't trade my life for the world i tell you that..even if its a multi billionaire's life, it doesn't matter. After all your life is your life. Its for you to live and that to me is a blessing.
They should make a movie on us. Imagine if each and every one of us could make a movie on our lives.. won't it be great? We have so much to say, never second guessing our ability but only God knows we are able... If each and every one of us had a movie done and screened on our lives, so many misunderstandings could be solved, love regained, friendships restored, relationships entwined to make perfect bonds. People would see all the hardships a person has to go through everyday just to sustain. Each and one of us would be an intangible hero of our own lives and mutually respect others too. Behind the scenes would be epic, lots of secret uncontainable laughter and silly talks.. and you know what the best part is..? you get to be 'you'.. What more could you ask and who better can play your character better than you yourself.. The downside of all of this is one thing though... there will be no retakes... WTF!! no retakes... that's horrible isn't it... That just means mistakes will be mistakes, bygones will be bygones, only improvisation....and that's life.. Moving on is the only way to live it..Many a times we all have taken our lives for granted and that's not a probability, that's a fact and its until hard reality hits you and you fall into the ground not once but again and again, that's when you understand.
May be the reason why I talk about life so much is because it interests me. Its spontaneous, unpredictable, unbearable, a bit of perkiness and a bit of vivacity.. It has its own dynamics about it and it has its own essence...Its like a jigsaw puzzle, we don't know where we're going but with some logic and lot of belief we go on living it ...When faced with complications we try every possible alternative and get our minds muddled. We never decide to give in and head out stronger, our thoughts clearer.That moment of success after continuous struggle makes us feel like we've conquered the world and that 'we are the kings and queens of our province'.
If they ever make a movie on each one of us, besides being one hell of a long movie, it will be veracious. It won't be a simple one, won't just portray an unrealistic pretty picture. It will be an amalgamation of every possible emotion a man could think of, at times uber-hilarious and loved and at times awfully sad and wronged. I wish i could make a movie of my own life or even write a book. one day may be i will as always, life's unpredictable.. Who knew i was going to write all of this down online anyway... If you ever decide to make a movie on your life or do a documentary on someone else s', do let me know...You can always transform your dreams into plans and put plans into action..I will be very proud of you!!

Thursday, 6 March 2014

What Do You Want Out Of Life

It was not a while ago when I went for a long drive. It was an early morning, just me and utter silence. The windows were rolled down and the wind gushed my face. I broke the silence when I turned on the stereo. The music started playing ( I feel it all by Feist).. and there I went just along the highway not knowing where it would take me. Something about that moment was so indescribable... I felt like I was invincible.. I was happy.. Its hard to explain how a moment like that could make any one happy.. At that very moment I knew, that, all i wanted in life was to do the things that were just right for me.. Things that would make me happy, things that I didn't have to re-think twice, things that I was so passionate about doing that I would wake up each morning looking forward in doing it and sacrifice my sleep at night...

A lot of people struggle with this question... What do you want out of life? May be you do too.. Do you want to have a nice bank balance and live a monotonous life or you want you make a living out of doing the things you love doing..

Do you dare to take the road full of stones, the road less traveled by or you choose to go where everyone else is going and do what u don't really want to do but you do it anyway out of compulsion. Do you want to have a instantaneous death without any pain or you want to have a slow death, dieing each day equivalent to not living at all..

Many people will be happy just with the money, a secure job, an awesome career profile but I tell you what, a person like me will never bend with mere sticks and stones. Sticks and stones may break us but can never change the way we think. We might start slow but never regret one day of our lives trying to get there.. For a person like me, every single day is new learning experience.. Honestly speaking, I don't know a lot of things but learning one or two things each new day makes me happy.. A little drop of water everyday will make me a large pool someday.. Someday I will be an ocean and travel places and see the world with my own two eyes.. Its a dream, it is slow process but it is achievable.. There is a lot of uncertainty but choosing what we really need to do in life is the life we live to be.

Its not what we want to be that matters but it is what we need to be. It is a necessity and I'll tell you's a necessity because, it is a need of the heart. A need that burns outrageously because it is fueled by passion and when you have passion for something, I tell you, you will succeed no matter what the consequences.
So how do you get there?Now you know what your heart says.. How do you go ahead and make it possible? 

Well, firstly, I say you must have the ability to dare.. You must dream.. Dreams lead to endless possibilities. It could lead you to do things beyond your wildest imagination..You could stumble upon a bed of thorns on the way but don't give up just yet.. You must dare.. 

Secondly make some changes in your life and stick by it every day.. changes are important if you want dreams to become realities..we all must keep learning.. Dig a little deeper each new day about the thing you love to do or would like to do.. Teach yourself, help yourself.. Nobody can realize your dreams other than you.

Thirdly, we all must prioritize our goals, prioritize people, prioritize things that need attention..  Make a mental map or better yet jot it all down.. What are your immediate priorities (things that you see yourself doing and completing in the next few month) and your long term goals and priorities (the person you dream of becoming in the next few years down the lane)

Fourthly and most importantly, you must believe in yourself.. Nothing great is ever achievable without a few obstacles.. You must have a lot of patience and keep moving up the ladder .. Live one day at a time..

 You know a lot of times i have been skeptical about doing things. I didn't feel a lot confident about trying out something new. I had this blog set up in 2012 but for two years I didn't want to write anything on it, thinking, what if people don't like it. Who wants to hear me blabber any way, who wants to take any of my advice or hear my opinion when they already know.. 

But today I don't feel the same.. You know why? Its because I don't care anymore.. I am doing what I love to do.. I love blogging.. I love to go out there and get my thoughts heard.. I like to fight my way from the place i am now and the place i want to be. I don't know if i am making any difference in your lives, I truly am thankful if I am but if I am not, I will forever be happy because I am making a difference to myself.. At this moment I am proud.. This might me be a small stepping stone but I don't mind, life's a long journey, lots of things to accomplish  and I ain't dieing, not today. There is a lot of room for improvement, a lot of unfelt emotions to feel ... so go ahead and follow you dreams.. Make a journey worth remembering. I know you all can do it... at the very least test your limits give it a try rather than saying its impossible!! Remember... One day at a time guys... One day at a time.

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

The Little things

I have a lot of perspectives about life. Today at this very moment I am viewing it as a giant canvas.. You fill it with colors, people, emotions, every single thing that you love. You add little by little every single moment. Moments happen in seconds.. Seconds become minutes, minutes become hours... Hours make a day and days pass by.. We live our lives....Its that simple and its that hard.

When I was a child, I had no interest in reading books. Usually, if I'd start reading a book I could never finish it.. At school and through college I'd borrow books from the library and keep it for months, ultimately end up paying fine but not reading more than five pages, at the most. Recently some months back, I couldn't even finish reading Inferno and still claim Dan Brown to be my favourite fictional author.I would lose interest quickly and jump from one book to the other momentarily trying to find something better.. something that would thrill me, something that could engage me for a bit longer. 

The only thing i could ever finish every time i took it up was writing. Being a single child, home alone I had my own imaginary world with endless possibilities.
Being alone was special to me, I somehow liked it.... sometimes i'd sit to write on Sunday mornings and wouldn't get up until I finished. I wanted every single world to be proper.. in place, put together just the way i wanted. i couldn't stop writing until i was really satisfied.

I remember the day I saved a street puppy and gave it a home to live, lots of love to grow and lots of food to get healthy. I also remember the day it died when I buried it with my own two hand in our back yard. I still have a long note on his memory which I had written with endless flowing teary eyes thinking he was at someplace better... it is the moments we spent together that still remains.

Growing up amongst lots of sadness and lots of happiness, I have realized this very special thing that life isn't always about those rare big events that happened but its about those small little things that we generally tend to overlook. Life is special because we make those moments without knowing we'd make them. We don't acknowledge how special they really are until they become distant memory. To me seasons are like lingering moments, sometimes silence and solitude is enjoyable, sometimes every idle hour is memorable. Those little things are the things that I've always looked back at and smiled at, even now when I've grown up to be what i am.  

 People say happiness is momentary, that it comes and goes. They say downfalls or tragic flaws are way more than the successes or accomplishments but, don't you think sadness is momentary too? I mean, you could be sad now but would you be sad if your friend drops by your place and cheers you up or you go out for a while, take an endless walk with your friend or someone you love or you pet or hell just alone for that matter... You can always remember the happier times hidden within those complex sad moments and smile. A person can never be always happy but no he can't always be sad either.

 If this life is special to you, I insist that you must live it to your fullest starting today. Let go of all those worries for a while, those tiring thoughts that pollute young minds. Be a narcissist for a day, chuck some attitude around, walk with you head held high even if you have a bad hair day or your wearing your worst pair of jeans. Act like your the best in this world.. Do something crazy, do something that brings happiness to you. Meet up with your friends, have a laugh with them over lunch or listen to your favorite song or play with your pet. Whats the point in living your life if you ain't living at all? 

 Why is it that you miss childhood when you still can be a child? I know you can't get back what is lost but u sure can start over.

 I ain't climbing a mountain to make a difference but today I am making a moment for you and I hope that at least once this very day, you laugh. You laugh so hard that you snort and spill out some drink onto you shirt in front of your friends and be laughed at just so you laugh back so hard you can't catch your breathe. I hope you get caught up at some hilarious moment that you wish didn't happen but laugh at it later thinking how hilarious it really was.. Its the little things that really matter, its the little things which happen randomly that become big events. Once again I wish you be humble, be happy, be random. Go ahead and make some moments special for you to cherish forever.